This week’s singles were such a lousy bunch that some pretty limp ones managed to avoid the ignominy of a place amongst our worst singles of the week. So, if we unleash a little venom here, you’ll know why that is…
Dot Rotten – “Free”
“I ain’t afraid to show people who I actually am” we are told by someone calling himself Dot Rotten…and, with its numbingly predictable council estate-set motivational sloganeering, it goes downhill even from there.
Kids will use this to soundtrack goals compilations on YouTube and, all the while, Dot Rotten will continue to proclaim “Uh oh! Uh oh!” without ever quite transforming into Beyonce. Will he ever go to the ball?
Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!
Sub Focus feat. Alex Clare – “Endorphins”
What is going on in that video? Was the release of this song considered to be a terrorist attack? And would you argue if it haf been?
“Oh my god…that wasn’t Bin Laden. We just killed…Sub Focus featuring Alex Clare!”
(All look at each other with shock and confusion that quickly dissipate into wild celebrations once the penny drops)
“Okay, we’re going for Chinese! But then we’ve got to kill Bin Laden, okay?”
Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!
Stooshe – “Slip”
Winehouse dead? Why not capitalise on the gap in the market? To be fair, this has an actual tune to it and as such is actually one of this week’s more enjoyable singles. The chorus may turn into a Butlin’s advert but up until then it seems a perfectly serviceable jukebox record.
To recap: it’s fluff but it’s lively fluff, like S Club 7 with aspirations to Motown…and that sounds alright to us given the turgid opposition it’s faced this week.
Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!
Wretch 32 feat. Shakka – “Blackout”
Dig the “…eh” at 0.23 of the video. Seriously, we couldn’t stop watching it. It’s not far off being the highlight of this week’s singles.
It’s a shame the lyrics don’t make sense and are set to an abominable trance-pop backing track.
Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!
We could rabbit on about the other singles but they’re such a limp collection that it hardly seems worth it. It would be easier to just list a bunch of names alongside a quick comment for each, so we’ll do that instead:
Archie Bronson Outfit – “I Was a Dead Duck”
This is just “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits, isn’t it?
Editors – “A Ton of Love”
This YouTube comment tells you all you need to know…
…although this one begs to differ…
Fryars – “On Your Own”
Does your teenager write songs like this? Remove belt immediately.
Gunning For Tamar – “Another Season”
White guy in hoodie walks in white snow and looks really white. Did you know that ‘white’ rhymes with ‘shite’? You do now.
Is Tropical – “Dancing Anymore”
Coming to a TopShop dressing room near you! The guy vocalist will caress your labia in exchange for proper bandmates.
Laki Mera – “Sweet Warm Dance”
Cheer up, luv.
MS MR – “Hurricane”
Didn’t you see Thatcher’s funeral? The ’80s were awful. Ripping off Summer Camp ripping off the ’80s doesn’t balance things out: it just makes you a second-hand, even-more-pointless rip-off merchant.
Strangers – “Something New”
Something borrowed, more like.
Swim Deep – “She Changes the Weather”
Video just rips off the film Blue Valentine. Song nothing to write home – or anywhere else, for that matter – about.
The National – “Sea of Love”
Your girlfriend might like this. Video a tribute to this Russian band:
The New Union – “Staying Friends”
Remember that stage you walked past at Latitude?
These New Puritans – “Fragment Two”
A symphony of ‘meh’.
See you next week, everybody!
The Rest of This Week’s Singles: Stooshe, Editors, Dot Rotten and more! appeared first on Rocksucker. Visit Rocksucker for more music news, reviews and interviews.
via Rocksucker http://rocksucker.co.uk/2013/05/the-rest-of-this-weeks-singles-stooshe-editors-dot-rotten-and-more.html
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