Boris Johnson is on the ropes, the worst PM in history. Labour has been gifted victory. What does it conspire to do? Punch itself in the face
Yesterday was a very good day to bury a bad conference. Three weeks ago, rapidly oxidising political genius Dominic Cummings briefed that the Tories were going to “wreck” the Labour party’s annual gathering. After three days in Brighton, it was hard to see how even Downing Street’s Eric Cartman could have done a better job of it than the party themselves. Maybe he could have made Labour go on for an extra day? Or had a few more Dadaist votes on their Brexit position? In the end, Cummings master-strategised himself on to the wrong end of a monster constitutional VAR decision, taking one of his “alternative branches of history” right up the jacksy, and delivering Labour the considerable benefit of averting people’s eyes from their unforced errors here.
Sixteen hours earlier, Len McCluskey – who bestrides conference’s jugular like a colossus – had been telling the TV cameras the party’s shambolic show-of-hands vote on a Brexit position was a democratic triumph. “Everybody’s a winner here today,” the Unite boss beamed. “Everybody.” Oh Len. You should definitely tell that to the people I can still hear screaming “CARD VOTE?!?!?!” – in vain – in the hall behind you, having been denied the opportunity to #usepens. At a fringe event later that evening, it was mentioned that Jeremy Corbyn’s approval rating is minus 60, the worst for an opposition leader since comparable polling records began. “So what?” called someone in the audience. Madam, I am sure it is a sublime irrelevance.