Telling Gareth Bale that Johnson is PM took away banterpocalypse’s sole survivor | Marina Hyde

The Real Madrid forward had been blissfully unaware that Boris Johnson was running the UK – but now the country has blown a prime cloning opportunity to reclaim its lost innocence

Why did they do it? What honestly possessed the newspaper journalist who discovered that Gareth Bale didn’t know the identity of the UK prime minister to tell him who it was?

If you missed this, affable Real Madrid malcontent Gareth Bale gave an interview to the Daily Telegraph this week, in which he revealed: “I don’t even know who the prime minister is any more. I haven’t got a clue.” It was at this point that the interviewer informed him that it was Boris Johnson. BUT WHY, THOUGH? Why was Gareth Bale’s immaculateness taken from him? We had found him – the last pure Briton. He currently lives in Spain, but these are minor details.

Related: Spanish club strike signposts huge attitude change by female footballers

Johnson could be the shortest-serving PM in 100 years. Bale could have remained ignorant of his tenure in its entirety

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John Naughton: Cambridge Analytica: Mindf*ck by Christopher Wylie; Targeted by Brittany Kaiser – reviews

Books by two of the company’s key players shed light on our current political malaise

Hindsight is the only exact science, as these two books confirm. Chris Wylie and Brittany Kaiser are two youngish, idealistic, clever people who got involved in some very dark stuff orchestrated by unscrupulous operators. Eventually, both realised they had become accomplices to activities that were at best unethical and at worst illegal, realisations that prompted them to break loose and blow the whistle. And both their memoirs, though very different in style and tone, are attempts to atone for the societal damage their respective collaborations with the devil have done.

But there the similarities end. Wylie is an unorthodox, gay Canadian who is passionately interested in fashion; Kaiser is a straight, liberal American interested in human rights and other humanitarian causes. And yet both were ensnared in the same net: a sinister dirty-tricks, election-manipulating “consultancy” outfit called SCL run by a sociopathic old Etonian, Alexander Nix, which eventually spawned another company called Cambridge Analytica (CA), which was the vehicle that did most of the democratic damage.

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John Naughton: Two Boeing air disasters demand urgent change – but where do we start? | John Naughton

Changing corporate culture and weak regulation appear to be factors in the recent 737 Max crashes

Here’s a question. Well, two questions, actually. One: how could an aircraft manufacturer long celebrated for its commitment to engineering excellence produce an airliner with aerodynamic characteristics that made it unstable under some circumstances – and then release it with remedial computer software that appeared to make it difficult for pilots to take control? And two: why did the government regulator approve the plane – and then dither about grounding the model after it had crashed?

The aircraft in question is the Boeing 737 Max. The regulator is the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). The questions are urgent because this model has crashed twice – first in the Java Sea last October with the deaths of 189 people, and then in Ethiopia in March with the deaths of 157 people. Evidence retrieved from the second crash site suggested that the plane had been configured to dive before it came down. And the Ethiopian transport minister was quoted by Al-Jazeera on 4 April as saying that the crew “performed all the procedures repeatedly provided by the manufacturer but was not able to control the aircraft”. The FAA initially reaffirmed the airworthiness of the plane on 11 March but then grounded it on 13 March.

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Pity our Conservative MPs, forced to go on strike to protect their way of life | Marina Hyde

Boris Johnson’s latest threat paints his government as a victim. At least the party long ago outlawed sympathy action

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. On the one hand, inflatable reservist Mark Francois MP has previously promised that we will leave the EU on 31 October, or “this country will explode”. On the other hand, Devon-based extremist Katie Hopkins has previously tweeted that we will leave the EU on 31 October, or “I will drink a pot of tea naked in the Apprentice losers cafe with Farages face on each nipple.”

We will not be leaving the EU on 31 October.

Related: David Cameron’s ‘greased piglet’: a fitting image for the Brexit moment | Marina Hyde

Related: Jennifer Arcuri came late to the party. But the Johnson franchise is unthinkable without her now | Marina Hyde

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