Pity our Conservative MPs, forced to go on strike to protect their way of life | Marina Hyde

Boris Johnson’s latest threat paints his government as a victim. At least the party long ago outlawed sympathy action

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. On the one hand, inflatable reservist Mark Francois MP has previously promised that we will leave the EU on 31 October, or “this country will explode”. On the other hand, Devon-based extremist Katie Hopkins has previously tweeted that we will leave the EU on 31 October, or “I will drink a pot of tea naked in the Apprentice losers cafe with Farages face on each nipple.”

We will not be leaving the EU on 31 October.

Related: David Cameron’s ‘greased piglet’: a fitting image for the Brexit moment | Marina Hyde

Related: Jennifer Arcuri came late to the party. But the Johnson franchise is unthinkable without her now | Marina Hyde

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